How To Influence Your Kids
I grew up in a polygamous home. It means my father had more than one wife; growing up in that environment was exciting. I will not go into details but concentrate on my mother’s side of the family. My Dad was a Headmaster! What you called Principal or Head of Elementary School, while my Mom was a trader; you can say she was a businesswoman in today’s language.
What I am today and what I will become in the future is directly proportional to God’s Faithfulness which predestined me through my Dad and Grandma. I exclude my Mom because she died when I was little. I wish I could detail my family stories, but that is not our focus; maybe some other time in another article.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6.
My Dad and Grandmom positively influence my life, which is how it should be. The responsibility of training children relies on the parents, but unfortunately, most parents have given their kids to society to train them. They fail to understand the difference between classroom education and home child training.
My Dad influenced my social lifestyle, while my Grandmom influenced my Christian lifestyle. It is not the schools, media, and government centers’ responsibility to train children; it is the parents’ responsibility.
My Dad and Grandma were disciplined and full of exemplary lifestyles that we all emulate. They never ask us to do anything that they haven’t done. Of course, it was common when flogging and betting kids were included as part of child training in those days, but the case was not in our house.
Not that we didn’t do anything wrong, of course, we did a lot of horrible and crazy stuff growing up, but what helped us was my Dad, and Grandma used words and exemplary life to correct us.
My Dad taught me how to read, while my Grandma taught me how to pray, not because they sat me down to do it but because I learned from observation. I remember when my Dad would wake me up in the middle of the night to have a conversation, correcting me, pointing out what I did wrong, and educating me on how to do things correctly. Going back to bed with such words was impactful.
My Grandma, however, will use bible stories to model my lifestyle. For example, we always see her praying, and most of the time, She will ask me to kneel by her side while she prays. That is living by example.
Many parents are busy looking for a religious school or a good neighborhood or sending their kids to a boarding school because they want someone else to model them. Please, don’t get me wrong; investing in your kids’ future is okay if you have the resources, but the motive of doing it matters.
I am pointing out that the foundation for preparing your children for a better future is in the home and not elsewhere. Irresponsible parents are the cause of societal problems. Please help them understand that society doesn’t train children; parents teach kids to have a better community.
In Mathematics, they have an Example; the goal is to teach you how to understand the formula and solve other Mathematical problems. If you ignore the example, then you have decided to fail.
“Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come.” 1 Corinthians 10:11.
We learn from people’s mistakes and people’s successes. If you ignore people’s mistakes, you will become the result of their errors. “That’s not “Wisdom.”
Children are born innocent but corrupted by their parents; you can not give what you don’t have. You can’t ask your kids to do what you don’t do and expect them to become what you want of them that you are not. In other words, you want your kids to read a book, but you don’t like reading books. “How possible is that”?
When parents come home late at night, not because they work night shifts, they are everywhere partying from house to house and getting home drunk. What do you think the children will become? Of course, they will be worse than their parents in anything they see their parents do. The chances of a kid escaping negative influence from an abusive home are low.
The easiest way to improve in whatever you are doing is to observe from people ahead of you. The first training ground for every kid is their home, and the head coach of every home is the parent. There is this common saying: Charity Begins At Home. It means that every expression of any character exhibited anywhere is traceable to its upbringing.
If the parents are corrupt in their moral living, the kids’ chances of being morally unstable are high. Ninety percent of the unwelcome behavioral attitude we see from an individual can be traceable to family upbringing. Let’s draw a lesson from Moses’ Mother in Exodus 2:1,2.
About this time, a man and woman from the tribe of Levi got married. The woman became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She saw that he was a special baby and kept him hidden for three months. Exodus 2:1,2.
There was no pre-prophecy about the boy called Moses that he would be the one to bring Israel’s children out of Egypt like others. The mother of Moses saw greatness in her son, not the father. The father was not in the picture if you read the whole story. The mother saw a greater destiny in her son and invested in him.
So being a single parent is not an excuse not to pay attention to investing in the children’s lives. You don’t pick gold on the street, you don’t catch a shark in shallow water, and you don’t hunt elephants in the football field. It takes an effort to get extraordinary things done.
Every child has a deposit of greatness from their creator, “GOD.” However, it takes sensible, disciplined, visionary, level-headed, focused, and exemplary parents to bring that greatness out of the child. Therefore, every child is unique, memorable, and destined for greatness.
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. Genesis 2:7.
Every child born of any human has the life of God in himself. There is no useless kid. Not one child is futile. If only parents are humble enough to invest knowledge in themselves, they will eventually have something positive for their children, and the next generation will be better.
Every child has a future, destiny, and greatness in him, the very God-life. The parent determines the usefulness of that life. I understand most kids want to be free but are unwilling to be responsible. Freedom comes with responsibility. Suppose you are a kid thinking of escaping your parent’s discipline by being rebellious. And if you succeed in escaping, rest assured that your generation will be wasted through a rebellious attitude. Your result will be like that of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-16.
Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything. Luke 15:11-16.
That is why we have many homeless, drug pushers, family abusers, auto crashes, early pregnancy, and relational problems at the workplace and in society. The disadvantage of this rebellious, stubborn, and undisciplined attitude is that it becomes generational if it does not stop.
FIVE THINGS TO LEARN FROM THE MOTHER OF MOSES
Exodus 2:1-10. About this time, a man and woman from the tribe of Levi got married. The woman became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She saw that he was a special baby and kept him hidden for three months. But when she could no longer hide him, she got a basket made of papyrus reeds and waterproofed it with tar and pitch. She put the baby in the basket and laid it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile River. The baby’s sister then stood at a distance, watching to see what would happen to him. Soon Pharaoh’s daughter came down to bathe in the river, and her attendants walked along the riverbank. When the princess saw the basket among the reeds, she sent her maid to get it for her. When the princess opened it, she saw the baby. The little boy was crying, and she felt sorry for him. “This must be one of the Hebrew children,” she said. Then the baby’s sister approached the princess. “Should I go and find one of the Hebrew women to nurse the baby for you?” she asked. “Yes, do!” the princess replied. So the girl went and called the baby’s mother. “Take this baby and nurse him for me,” the princess told the baby’s mother. “I will pay you for your help.” So the woman took her baby home and nursed him. Later, when the boy was older, his mother brought him back to Pharaoh’s daughter, who adopted him as her own son. The princess named him Moses, for she explained, “I lifted him out of the water.”
- MOSES’ MOTHER HAD A VISION: She saw: It means she had a positive mental picture of her son’s future. Most parents don’t have dreams for their kids. They are so self-centered. A vision for your kids will enable you to speak positively about them. It will guard on how to model their career part. When under the influence, most parents ridicule their kids’ destinies with negative words. Words are seeds. Mind what you speak into the lives of your kids. Proverbs 18:21. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.
- MOSES’ MOTHER WAS PROTECTIVE: She kept him hidden: She protected her son because of the unique destiny she saw in him. What you value, you save and secure from destruction and harm. How you express yourself to your kids can tell if you genuinely love them—1 Corinthians 13:4 to 7. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
- MOSES’S MOTHER INVESTED: She invested in her son’s life; what you have a vision for, you will invest in it. The reason why most parents do not care about the future of their children is that the parents lack vision for their kids. So when talking of investment, it is not just about college funds or leaving an inheritance. We are talking about home training. A child that is not home-trained will not utilize college funds and trash the gift of heritage because there is no foundation given to them from home. Matthew 13:45,46. “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, and upon finding a single pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.
- MOSES’S MOTHER RISKED HER LIFE: She put her life on the line to secure her son’s future destiny. John 10:11. I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down His [own] life for the sheep.
- MOSES’S MOTHER TRAINED HER CHILD: She lived with the son: Moral, behavioral, and disciplined. In other words, home trained her son. Great men and women in society had great parents, not in money but in character. But unfortunately, there are a lot of skillful parents and skillful kids who lack character. Skill without morality is a disaster. Proverbs 22:6. Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Parents, you have the privilege of 18 years to influence your kids, either positively or negatively, before the child leaves home for college or somewhere.
