SECRETS FOR A LASTING MARRIAGE
Marriage is the oldest institution globally, and it has its root in divinity. God is the one that instituted the marriage union.
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. Genesis 2:22.
The union is the coming together of two people of opposite sexes to build a God-centered home. Notice the words “woman” and “man” in the above scripture; marriage is for two opposite people and not for the same sex. Marriage is an honorable thing with the bed undefiled.
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4.
It is a unique relationship ordained by God for a man and a woman to give and receive satisfaction for their health needs and desires. The association is unique because it involves the two individuals, spirit, soul, and body. Spiritually, their lives must have been transformed, both of them being born-again, becoming new creatures, and therefore, belonging to the same spiritual kingdom.
In the realm of the soul, both of them should have the same mind concerning various matters, especially the principles of the doctrine of Christ as stated in Amos 3:3. For two cannot walk together except they are agreed. The spouses should understand the concept of marriage that each of them is entitled to each others bodies and wealth.
Scripturally, this union is for a lifetime. It should, therefore, not be entered into unadvisedly. It is essential to know what marriage is about before one says “I do” to anyone.
Ignorance of the law is not an excuse; that is what society will always say. The truth is marriage is not peculiar to any culture or country of the world. It is heaven’s culture; therefore not traditional in any way, but scriptural. Every manufacturer has a manual for its product, and every organization has a blueprint of its cooperation. Marriage is the idea of God, and His Word gives us guidance on what needs to be known about it to make it successful.
Since God instituted marriage, anyone who wants success in a lasting marriage should make God the center of such a relationship. God is the only sure foundation for success in a lasting marriage. Unfortunately, so many Christians fail in the concept of marriage, so I am not talking about mere identification but dept knowledge of His manual/blueprint of the marriage institution.
A Misconception About Sex Can Cause A Divorce
Hardly any family in the world has not been affected by divorce. It is a problem that grips all nations like an octopus, strangling the very life out of our families. Even Christian marriages are dissolving in divorce. Statistics show that one out of every three marriages will end in divorce, or one party will die in it. The problem has become a global menace.
Sex is very closely related to the divorce problem. Some divorces result from sexual issues per se; in others, sexual problems play a significant role. I believe that a husband and wife who share one another entirely in a sexual relationship are not likely to ask for a divorce. Their differences will be minimized, and any conflicts that crop up can be discussed openly and maturely. A healthy sexual relationship helps to preserve a healthy marriage. An unhealthy sexual relationship does nothing to stop the disintegration of a marriage and may speed it up.
Divorce is an admission of failure. It means that a husband and wife have failed to make marriage adjustments. Divorce means that a man and woman have chosen to go their separate ways instead of facing their problems head-on and trying to solve them.
Do I Have To Have Sex Every Day? A Question an Ignorant couple asked.
That is usually the question one out of the two in-home asks. But I am sure the Corinthians, as they desperately tried to sort out their new lives in Christ sexually, were also interested to know this.
The wife does not have authority over her body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not control his own body, but the wife does. Therefore, do not deprive one another except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Your body belongs to your mate, and your mate’s body belongs to you. Like our relationship with Christ, we are no longer ours. In marriage, you belong to your spouse. However, this is only successful if you give toward each other, thinking with grace. The scripture boldly declares, “Stop depriving one another. Unless there is a legitimate reason, you should not even think about saying no if your spouse desires you sexually. The only time you would abstain from sex is when you mutually consent to pray for a time or other genuine reasons that fit you both.
1 Corinthians 7:4,5 shows how important sex is in the marriage relationship. Married couples should experience physical intimacy frequently. God commands this because it keeps your relationship healthy and strong. Conversely, one of the signs that your priorities are falling out of line or that trouble has crept into your relationship is a lack of sexual intimacy and pleasure in sex.
Again we can see a parallel to your relationship with the Lord. You have no problem worshiping Him face-to-face when your priorities are in line and keep your heart pure before the Lord. But when your life is out of balance or given a place to sin, it is hard to look Jesus in the eye and tell Him that you love Him.
In the same way, complete joy and pleasure in loving your spouse sexually result from practicing grace, thinking if you are holding something against each other. If strife and division have come between you both, it won’t be easy to have sex with one another. Only when you choose to have an attitude of forgiveness and compassion will you thoroughly enjoy having sex with your spouse. Having sex is a time of affirming your love and trust.
Intimately praising and worshiping the Lord brings strength and stability to your life and acts as a safeguard to keep you on the right path. Likewise, the intimacy of having sex with your spouse brings strength and stability into your marriage and is a crucial factor in keeping your relationship on the right track.
All Year Honeymoon
One reason why sex becomes tedious and frustrating in marriage is because we approach it the same way every year. Unfortunately, it has become a routine in many marriages; It is a stereotype.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentation 3:22-23.
So there has to be a turning, a turning in the approach to your sex life. There must be a variety of positions, styles, and methods. Variety is the key to desired and sustained pleasure.
Give your spouse a surprise move each time you have sex. Let it not be the same old thing. Sex in marriage must never be routine; it must have a variety to be vibrant and enjoyable. Sex is godly therefore should be approached so. It is holy when done in marriage. Religious mindsets tell you that sex is ungodly. They are correct outside the context of marriage.
Religious mindset tells you to engage in marital sex to fulfill all righteousness; thus, the joy of sex in marriage is lost, and it eventually becomes frustrating. But the word of God tells us to do everything in the name of the Lord.
Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all things for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31.
Awaking The Pleasure Of Sex In Marriage
Recognize God’s “One flesh” idea in the sexual part of marriage. To achieve this perfect one flesh sexual union, you must be full of each other’s thoughts. Speak words that arose from each other’s passion. That is the point where religious minds miss it and get into trouble outside. They fear to speak about sex with their spouse. Speak about it freely between the two of you.
How beautiful you are, my darling, ]How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves behind your veil; Your hair is like a flock of goats That have descended from Mount Gilead. Songs of Solomon 4.
Solomon advises husbands to praise their wives before touching them. Let words of passion and love precede every touch.
Women are emotional beings. They want their tanks of love refilled all the time. So as many times as you say to her, “I love you dearly,” you are reloading her tank of love.” So form a habit of hanging around with your spouse. Sometimes, be together in the kitchen when cooking, bathing, making phone calls, and text messages of love discussions.
Before any one of you leaves the house for work, exchange love looks that will make it difficult for both of you to be distracted by any other opposite sex. Make a promise of surprise sex when back from work. Focus on the pleasure of your spouse, not just your satisfaction. When you focus on their fun, you are sowing a seed of happiness; they give you the harvest of pleasure.
The husband needs to be caring even outside the bedroom. Many men do not care about their wives except only when they want sex. In that way, the woman feels cheated, raped, used, abused, and dumped after sex. Be caring to her outside the bedroom so that the hangover of the care will naturally spill over to the bedroom.
Remember, there is what is called orgasm in sex. It is the peak of pleasure both for the man and the woman. It takes working on each other in kissing, caressing, and all the fun attached to sex to ever come to it. A man arrives at orgasm faster than the woman. Although it takes a longer time for a woman to have an orgasm, she stays in the state of orgasm longer than the man.
Absolute oneness of the flesh is achieved at orgasm. The man should not just jump away after sex; that is the point he has to message his wife. She is in another world at this time-a world of love. The woman’s climb to the top of the mountain of sexual pleasure is gradual; the man should patiently play with their wives as they climb the hill of orgasm.
The woman enjoys sex when her body chemistry is prepared and ready during foreplay; it’s done outside the bedroom. What you do outside the bedroom determines the result you get in the bedroom. Women appreciate husbands who are gentle and caring in sex.
It is clear that if your marriage must not be endured, your marital sexual life must be enjoyable. As you enjoy your marriage sex life, you will enjoy your marital bliss. Sex in marriage is for the joy and pleasure of the couple.
Cure To Sex In Marriage
One way to introduce and maintain sexual sanity in your home is to make yourselves appealing to each other. Remember, both of you are husband and wife. You both shouldn’t be blinded by religion’s spirit, which has reduced couples to shabby personalities. Ignorance has made matters worst in marriage. They feel anything sex is ungodly. Listen, only one person you are permitted to seduce in your lives- the wife and the husband. Both of you should thoroughly attract each other away from the other opposite sex so you will not be misled.
In making yourselves sexually appealing to each other, recognize what fascinates both of you because men enjoy so much sexual variety. That is the reason they tend to jump from one girl to another. However, the power to arrest this is in the hand of the wife. Therefore, never approach sex with your husband the same way all the time.
What We Should Know About Sex
- One. Sexual desire is a perfect and healthy desire. God expects you to enjoy and satisfy that perfect desire only in marriage. You are to share your body with your spouse in absolute love, respect, and pleasure.
- Two. It is wickedness to use sex as a bargaining power or weapon to achieve something from your spouse or as a way of punishing your spouse. You will offend your creator terribly and will be guilty of the sin of fraud. When your spouse is sexually satisfied, they cannot be lured by the spirit of immorality hanging around the corner.
Healthy, joyful, pleasurable, and vibrant sex life in your marriage is one of God’s tools to destroy the spirit of immorality.
- Three. Recognize that sex is wonderful, beautiful, and pleasurable only in the context of marriage. Everything God created was good. God made them male and female, a couple to enjoy their sexual life in the beauty of God’s garden.
Everything God created is “perfect,” including sex. Therefore, sex in marriage is outstanding. It is a beautiful gift of God for the couple, which must be received gladly and joyfully.
- Four. Sex is one of the precious gifts God has freely given to a spouse to enjoy. It is a special gift of God. Do not frustrate it. Let it prosper in your marriage. It is designed to be a form of giving oneself entirely to the other, hence Paul’s teaching to husbands and wives: the body of each belongs to the other. This is what sex is designed to be.
Each partner in a marriage should be more concerned about giving pleasure, not getting it. In short, the most incredible sexual pleasure to be experienced should be the pleasure of seeing your spouse getting pleasure.
What Science Say About Sex
Making love is good for married couples and important for a lasting marriage. Not only does it help you sleep well, relieve stress, and burn calories, there are also several other reasons why you need to have sex more often.
- One. Builds emotional intimacy: Sex is not merely about physical intimacy. It helps to strengthen the emotional bond between the two partners. For any relationship to be successful, the people involved must be emotionally on the same page, and having sex is a great way to build that emotional intimacy.
- Two. Improves cardiovascular health: A recent study says that men who have sex more than twice a week have a lesser risk of getting a heart attack than men who had sex less than once a month.
- Three. Increases immunity: Regular lovemaking increases the level of the immune-boosting antibody immunoglobulin A (IgA), which in turn makes your body stronger against illnesses like the common cold and fever.
- Four. Reduces stress: Stressed out with work or family problems? Don’t let it affect your performance in the bedroom. Not only will having sex improve your mood, but a stud has also proven that folks who indulge in regular bedroom activities can handle stress better and are happier people.
- Five. Relieves pain: Stop doing that if you use a headache as an excuse not to make love. Have sex instead because, when you are about to have an orgasm, the level of the hormone oxytocin increases by five times. This endorphin reduces aches and pains.
- Six. Promotes longevity: When one has an orgasm, a hormone called dehydroepiandrosterone is released. This improves immunity, repairs tissue, and keeps the skin healthy. As a result, men, who have at least two orgasms a week, live longer than men who have sex once every few weeks.
- Seven. Increases blood circulation: Because your heart rate increases when you have sex, fresh blood is supplied to your organs and cells. While used blood is removed, the body also expels toxins and other materials that cause you to feel tired.
- Eight. You sleep better: The sleep you get after you have made love will be much more relaxed. Getting a good night’s sleep will make you feel alert and overall healthy.
- Nine. Improves overall fitness: If you find going to the GYM mundane or working out at home a task, here’s another way to help you lose the flab and keep in shape. Regular sex will do wonders for your waistline. Half an hour of lovemaking burns more than 80 calories.
- Ten. Reduces the chances of getting depression: Just any other form of exercise, sex also prompts the brain to release feel-good chemicals, which increases the levels of happy hormones. These chemicals also help raise serotonin levels, which acts as a neurotransmitter and is one of the critical antidepressant chemicals of the body. This, in turn, helps reduce the chances of getting depression.
- Eleven. Feel better throughout the day: According to research, people who had sex in the morning coped better with their daily stress better and even sailed through the day in a good mood. Thanks to all the happy hormones produced after a session of sex. Couples are armed with a smile to all the daily challenges life throws at them.
TAKE HOME NOTES For A LASTING MARRIAGE
Arose greater interest in yourselves by being another girl/guy each time you are in bed for sex. Adopt different styles.
